On my way to work today, I started thinking...what am I going to miss with the boyz over the next few days, while in San Francisco?! My mind went to words of my mother...First take care of yourself, next take care of your marriage, then take care of your children (she did great at the 2nd and 3rd task but struggled with the 1st.) I decided I needed to do as she said and not as she did, so I will go and have a great time!!
But of course you worry about your children, everyone I know tells me it does not get easier the older they get...I have struggled with trying to anticipate why it will not get easier (my plague of overanalyzing and having plan A-G.) It came to me this morning, thinking about my conversation with my friend Baby Bok Bok on Tuesday contrasted with seeing my 17 and almost 20 year old nephews in the evening! Her 8 month old started full on crawling (Hooray Jacob!!) As I wanted to celebrate this wonderful accomplishment, the fear flooded back to me of when the boyz started crawling...It changes EVERYTHING. It is a new stage of "on-guard." Just with walking, running and adept dexterity. Their available environment grows with each of these stages, a pack-n-play becomes too restrictive. I think about Ewan and Cameron growing up and can not even fathom the worry of letting them drive!! The more their environment grows with going to school, running around with their friends, driving, going to college...you lose a little bit of the controlled environment you want for them. It will be different and as I talked to my friend whose son had his 2nd ski board accident in two months (both with memory lost, the 1st more severe than the 2nd), you realize you are powerless. You can only parent them to the best of your ability and hope (and worry) they will make the right decision.
I will MISS these boyz!!! But I am now convinced I HAVE to go to San Francisco to recharge so I can be a better parent...and hopefully instill good morals in these boyz, so they make the "right" decisions, like wearing a helmet or driving safely : )
These are some pics to show how FAR we have come in their almost 2 years of life!
No comments:
Post a Comment