What will I miss...

On my way to work today, I started thinking...what am I going to miss with the boyz over the next few days, while in San Francisco?! My mind went to words of my mother...First take care of yourself, next take care of your marriage, then take care of your children (she did great at the 2nd and 3rd task but struggled with the 1st.) I decided I needed to do as she said and not as she did, so I will go and have a great time!!

But of course you worry about your children, everyone I know tells me it does not get easier the older they get...I have struggled with trying to anticipate why it will not get easier (my plague of overanalyzing and having plan A-G.) It came to me this morning, thinking about my conversation with my friend Baby Bok Bok on Tuesday contrasted with seeing my 17 and almost 20 year old nephews in the evening! Her 8 month old started full on crawling (Hooray Jacob!!) As I wanted to celebrate this wonderful accomplishment, the fear flooded back to me of when the boyz started crawling...It changes EVERYTHING. It is a new stage of "on-guard." Just with walking, running and adept dexterity. Their available environment grows with each of these stages, a pack-n-play becomes too restrictive. I think about Ewan and Cameron growing up and can not even fathom the worry of letting them drive!! The more their environment grows with going to school, running around with their friends, driving, going to college...you lose a little bit of the controlled environment you want for them. It will be different and as I talked to my friend whose son had his 2nd ski board accident in two months (both with memory lost, the 1st more severe than the 2nd), you realize you are powerless. You can only parent them to the best of your ability and hope (and worry) they will make the right decision.

I will MISS these boyz!!! But I am now convinced I HAVE to go to San Francisco to recharge so I can be a better parent...and hopefully instill good morals in these boyz, so they make the "right" decisions, like wearing a helmet or driving safely : )

These are some pics to show how FAR we have come in their almost 2 years of life!

Boys will be boys...

We had a great day today!! The snow is starting to melt and we can actually see the grass peeking through... We had lunch delivered from Grandpa and Caitlin, which was a WONDERFUL surprise! We played inside and outside! Cam sat in his spot and Ewan rediscovered the ottoman! We ended our evening at Aunt Lorri's! Uncle John made us Chicken and Noodles! Ewan had four servings!! Cody, Corey and Cole played Rock Band as the boyz danced and ran around just trying to get all of their attention! Cole is at that age where he still likes wrestling and playing with the boyz but has to act a little older in front of Cody and Corey! Ewan and Cameron remind me of Cody and Corey when they were little...their balancing personalities and just "being brothers." Aunt Lorri was cracking up at Ewan's energy and Cam's chillin' personality, as she was feeding them cantaloupe and grapes : )

Sometimes you have to be creative...

So we had a GREAT weekend. We were out in the snow twice on Saturday. When we came back in the first time, Daddy had all of the couch cushions off the couch from vacuuming. The boyz went WILD and were entertained for about 45 minutes. Caitlin showed up later with gifts and the boyz were pumped!! We were reminded how persistent Cam can be (especially if Reese's pieces are involved!)

Keena came over later and she and Caitlin got Andrew and I out of the house. We had an amazing sushi dinner (sorry Caitlin) and then hung out at Barnes and Noble. I had to remind Andrew, I can not relax when I am not responsible for Ewan and Cameron. Luckily I have such wonderful support that I do not even worry one bit! I am headed to San Francisco on Thursday to visit a college friend, with a college friend. I am so excited! It is difficult at this age because they can not tell you what is wrong, but they expect you to know. With two of them at the same age, unable to communicate clearly, I have been so overwhelmed...much less everything else going on in our life. I am so thankful for last night with my husband...I am thankful for ALL the support I have...I am thankful for our GREAT friends...I am thankful, I can see light at the end of the tunnel...most of all I am thankful to see Ewan as himself, I have not seen the true Ewie since Christmas...and my Cam-a-lam said, "love you" to Andrew tonight...our hearts melted!

We ended our weekend celebrating Anna Bear's 5th birthday! I LOVE that child like my own niece. I LOVE Anna's enthusiasm and passion for life! She is so independent and intelligent! I have no worries about her...I feel the same way about her as I do about Cam...I know they will be just fine in life. Such a STRONG sense of self! Wearing Heidi's tutu from when Heidi was 8, she had such a GREAT time, loved and kissed EVERYONE at that party! My favorite part is when she sang Happy Birthday to herself! In English, then in German! So AMAZING! I am so excited I get to see her grow up!

On a side note, I am reading "Catcher in the Rye" again...it actually was my favorite book in high school and I found myself talking to Antman about it...then JD Salinger passed away and I felt this overwhelming need to read it...I bought it last night and I started reading it today...forgot COMPLETELY about Allie, Holden's younger brother!!! Feel back in love with the book...

A Night with Aunt Keena...

So tonight Aunt Keena came over, we ALL needed her : ) This is my movie documenting the evening! There is sound so turn on your speakers!

DADDY CAME HOME!!!!

Daddy is home...he left on Monday and came back today. We all missed him but Ewie especially missed his father. Last night he was saying dadadadada and would not go to bed. After the 5th time going up there, I gave Ewan the phone and his dada talked to him. He told him he would be home soon and he needed to go to bed for his mama...Ewan immediately dropped down and I did not have to go up there the rest of the evening.

This was the second time in a month Daddy had been out of town for longer than a day or two. I did not even get the mail once while he was gone...luckily, Monday was a holiday. This made me think of doing all of this without him and I can not even imagine. I think about my baby sister who is a single mother now, my older sister who was a single mother for a while and my mother...who spend years dealing with all of us while my dad was working out of town....home on the weekends or every other weekend...can not even imagine...

Today we had a playdate with an old friend of mine and her kids, we had a visit from Grandma and Grandpa (who allowed me to escape for an hour) and Daddy came home!!! These are the pictures when he walked through the door, Cam with his private celebration and Ewie with his true smile...because he is with his Daddy : )

Chopped up monkey butt...

I am a single mother of twins this week because my husband is out of town. Thank goodness my sister has been snowed in here for the past two days...

Being in a house with 4 kids is hard in some ways and easy in others. There are more dirty dishes and disobedient personalities, there is never any silence or moments to yourself. But the older kids entertain (or bother) the younger ones and EVERYONE is worn out at the end of the day.

They all LOVE each other so much and will have these memories to last them a lifetime.

Thought for the day...I need to stop cussing since I have heard Cameron repeat several cuss words directly after I have said them. I am searching for alternative words till I get out of the habit. For example, I am thinking of replacing Little SH#T with Chopped up Monkey butt...baby steps: )

Lazy Sunday...

We have had a very lazy Sunday today...after a visit from my sister and my nephew, I pulled out the wooden train track I had put away after trying to pretty much glue it down so the boyz would not throw it on the ground or rip it up or fight over the elevator! Such a difference a couple months makes at this age. They sat there quietly playing with the track and trains for over 20 minutes. Cameron said, "thank you" a lot to Ewan. They took turns putting track through the elevator to each other and they shared. No track ended on the floor! Now it ended in Cam laying on the train table and then diving onto the couch when Ewan had to follow. These are the pics!

family, friends and fun...

We had a BIG day today! We celebrated JMac's 3rd birthday! It was the boyz first birthday party they actually could remember. The cake was AMAZING and they got ice cream from Graeter's with sprinkles! The boyz LOVED the playplace! We took them to lunch and then should have gone home but went to the grocery store. After the boys not napping, we luckily had a visit from Aunt Keena, Antman and Sylcat! We were pretty sad after hearing someone we know passed away, Aunt Keena saved the day : )

Getting out...

Today the boyz had their first "Timbits!" My niece brought them over! Cameron just reached behind him to grab the "Timbits" and when we took them away, and asked him where they went he did this and said, "I don't know?!" Ewan was a fan as well!! Before nap time the boyz sat on my niece's lap while surfing the Yo Gabba Gabba Website, we noticed Ewan was hugging Cam!

We took the boyz out in the afternoon to the mall play place! They had a GREAT time! This was the second time we did this...it went well. It is actually an activity I think I could do by myself! We met my husband at a small Italian restaurant for dinner. The boyz surprised me and did wonderful! Cameron discovered he really liked cottage cheese and Ewan just likes to eat! Both boys went down without difficulty! All in all, FABULOUS day!

Thought for the day...After unloading, loading, unloading and loading the dishwasher everyday I do not work for months now, I understand why my mother used paper plates in the summertime : )

Sleeping...

Our most recent hurdle at 22 months has been sleeping arrangements. The sleeping habits of the boys has been a constant struggle. First it was trying to get them on the same napping schedule. This was much easier when they were very small. Once I gave up forcing them to be on the same schedule, they worked themselves out. Over the past year, it has been getting them to sleep at night. My husband and I have just about driven ourselves crazy! I had separated them at nap time a while a go...Cam in the pack-n-play in the spare bedroom, Ewan in his crib. I had even separated the boyz at bedtime for a while, till they learned how to get themselves to sleep. Then, I moved them back into the same room at bedtime, just at staggered times. It worked for a short while until Cam figured out Ewan was coming up and would stay awake until I brought him up. Sheer MAYHEM occurred! I tried to just let them settle themselves which worked for Cameron, but Ewan would be crazed! Finally one night Ewan started climbing into Cameron's crib, then out of both cribs and bringing Cameron toys, books and such!! I was done! I separated them for good. Although I did have a slight over reaction and took down both cribs...Now they are in separate rooms, both in cribs. Ewan has not climbed out since! Now if just teething and sickness would disappear, all would be settled!!

The twin relationship...

The twin relationship between Ewan and Cameron is so amazing to watch. The boys are very endearing to each other. They both react when the other is crying and will run and get the pacifiers for their brother (and self!) Cameron calls Ewan "Ewie" and Ewan refers to everyone as "baby!" My hope is Cameron tells me what Ewan gets into! They started wrestling at an early age, which freaked me out! We have often seen them holding hands or sitting close to another. It is really nice their personalities are so different, they balance each other...

Cameron

Cameron was second more, only by two minutes, but he is the baby of our family in true form. He truly has the opposite personality of Ewan! He sees the whole picture. He likes just hanging out reading books, watching TV, playing with Star Wars figures or just laying on his belly kicking his feet. He is my sensitive and imaginative child. Cam is expressive and repeats EVERYTHING right now. Cameron likes to eat but REALLY likes snacking! Cameron had his adnoids out and ear tubes at 9 months but is overall relatively healthy for a child under the age of two in daycare!!

Ewan

He is only first because he was born first! Ewan is the active twin. He is so very strong and has tons of energy. He melts your heart when he looks up at you and gives you his full scrunched up face smile. He loves to explore and gets a little obsessive when he finds a challenge. Ewan eats EVERYTHING and all of the time. He was diagnosed with reflux at 6 weeks and has been off medicine since he was about 6 months. He now has been diagnosed with reactive airway disease (asthma). We give him breathing treatments twice a day for preventative care and when he does get sick, it becomes complicated. We hope to discover over this next year if it is allergy triggered or just hope he grows out of it.

Starting this blog...

I decided I needed to do something a little more productive with my computer time! Every moment I spend with these boys fills my heart with so much love, cracks me up and can frustrate me. Sharing these stories will hopefully be an outlet, keeping me focused on how lucky I am to have these boys in my life!! Even when Ewan is hanging from the curtains and Cameron is dropping my china on the floor!