the beach

we took the kids to the beach for the first time...at the beginning of the week we were in the water at both low tides but after a little sting ray sighting then a big sting ray sighting...the kids decided they liked the pool better...although i convinced ewan and cameron we would be out of the sting ray habitat during high tide...there is also better shell collection...i want them to respect the ocean but not fear the ocean...

i love that ewan loves the water...he is one with the ocean...

i love that cameron loves the water and lording over sea shell collection...















i love that isobel is isobel...

as i discovered the differences of being a parent at the beach verses my only experience of being an aunt at the beach, my mind wandered back to my few childhood beach experiences...i tried to remember where my parents were in relation to me....a lot of times my dad was right next to me in the water...i am pretty sure my mom was on a blanket reading a book...i know my mother could not swim and rarely went into the water but how could she even be reading...was she really even reading...because even when i sit on the "sea shore," i am constantly counting to three...scanning the ocean...looking for real danger...trying to keep up with the sprints and waves carrying them further down the beach...i wanted to ask her, something that has happened quite frequently over the past 16 years...then i realized not only did i grow up with an innate self esteem but a strong will and need for independence...just like isobel...even if i could ask her, would i ask her...because only her death opened my eyes to how much she truly struggled with parenting a child like me...and now parenting my own strongly independent and willful curly girl...

isobel at 3...

#theworldisnotready for isobel at 3...she has more energy, than even she knows what to do with...she is mostly happy and completely in tune to her feelings...she tells us when she is sad, angry, upset, or any other feeling possible...she loves her brothers...she melts when they pay attention to her...she loves her father...she plays hard to get but she loves his rituals and chases...when he is at work she always asks about him and misses him...she loves me, her mother/sister...she lights up and screams when i walk in the door from work...she often needs extra hugs and carried...nothing can stop isobel...she can find a way...she is amazing...so smart...so excited...so determined...we are all just along for the ride : )

today...

today, i needed you...today, grandma came to my rescue...today we needed you...i have pretended your passing has not left a huge hole in my heart...but today i could not pretend...you were there from the beginning...joking you were the father and taking me out to lunch when i was on bed rest...we miss you...we will always love you...thank you for everything...

the hat project...

it has been a hard road...my father-in-law, my friend, my amazing grandpa to my children, dad to my husband and his sisters, husband to my very amazing mother-in-law, suddenly passed away, quickly and quietly last thursday...when we moved, i spotted a hat box in the garage, i felt an overwhelming need to see what was inside...we made fun of him...i wanted to take pictures of all the hats...and make him a collage for his birthday...a couple weeks later, i had all the hats... he was not there to laugh at my jokes...or tell me his stories of each hat...i am overwhelmed with grief but i feel comfort with all of our memories...all of our pictures...all of his passion and love...the amazing bonus was the navy caps we found in this box...andrew had one he wore out as a child but fortunately his grandmother wore her two to the beach...despite andrew asking for them, his grandmother never gave the caps to him...fortunately they went to his father when she passed...

turtles, frogs & stuff

we went to inniswood today...our favorite metropark...we learned about turtles...we pretended to be turtles...


we saw so many frogs & looked for hiding frogs....


izzy fell 3 times & the third one was the worst...i aged 6 years...she is just fine...thankfully...


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possession

took possession of the house tonight...life is so good...










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the boyz are done with half day kindergarten!!! these boyz are so amazing!!!  we closed on the house this thursday!!! our new address will be 1179 breakers court, westerville, oh 43082...we take possession monday or tuesday...life has been challenging this year with no place to ground myself...breakers will ground me...funny because my favorite place on the ohio river was right near the ice breakers...so many currents but safe on the shore...