Wednesday, September 23, 2020

PANDEMIC SCHOOL AGE MOM & ESSENTIAL WORKER

so, my niece margaux started a blog and i talked to her about how i used to blog years ago. i really could not stop thinking about how it really put everything into perspective for me during a very stressful time of my life of raising twin boys...so here i am...years later...a pandemic school age mom as well as an essential worker...i should add proud parent of an iep kid who needs structure in an extremely unstructured world...my mother-in-law moved in to help us with childcare which was lifesaving...so after crying uncontrollably last night for a few hours...here i am tonight blogging...

basically, the kids have been virtual up until this week...ewan will remain virtual, most likely the entire year, at his request...isobel's first day back was tuesday....cam's first day back was today...we are all exhausted...the plan is to go back every other week...the district has already changed which days will be A and B weeks...

the virtual academy ewan has been a part of changes every day and is using the schoology to turn in assignments...schoology was detrimental to his learning in the spring due to the many different ways teachers posted...i know once we get him in a simple routine, he will be okay...i have confidence in the administration of his school...talking with his second grade teacher yesterday, put things into perspective of what ewan needs today...i am thankful for her...

cam is biking to school, biking home, biking back to school for cross country, running four miles today, then biking home...he calls me to come get him and his bike...even at the end of the street...he was least happy about the one way hallways in middle school...and how he has to go down the steps and instead of turning left, he has to go completely around to his classroom...this kid, as always is rolling with it though...

isobel is a hidden wreck but she loves being back around other kids, armed with her hand sanitizer...now she has a bigger audience and we all have less pressure...

as for me...hanging in there...one day at a time...

Sunday, October 11, 2015

how do i explain...

how do i explain i woke up every morning thankful to be alive...because i was told i was lucky to be alive every day of my life...turns out when you have a brain tumor, all are effected...every day...is a gift...one sister has no worries...one sister has every worry...i only wish i could take all of the worries away...i have such a different perspective...

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

the beach

we took the kids to the beach for the first time...at the beginning of the week we were in the water at both low tides but after a little sting ray sighting then a big sting ray sighting...the kids decided they liked the pool better...although i convinced ewan and cameron we would be out of the sting ray habitat during high tide...there is also better shell collection...i want them to respect the ocean but not fear the ocean...



i love that ewan loves the water...he is one with the ocean...













i love that cameron loves the water and lording over sea shell collection...















i love that isobel is isobel...















as i discovered the differences of being a parent at the beach verses my only experience of being an aunt at the beach, my mind wandered back to my few childhood beach experiences...i tried to remember where my parents were in relation to me....a lot of times my dad was right next to me in the water...i am pretty sure my mom was on a blanket reading a book...i know my mother could not swim and rarely went into the water but how could she even be reading...was she really even reading...because even when i sit on the "sea shore," i am constantly counting to three...scanning the ocean...looking for real danger...trying to keep up with the sprints and waves carrying them further down the beach...i wanted to ask her, something that has happened quite frequently over the past 16 years...then i realized not only did i grow up with an innate self esteem but a strong will and need for independence...just like isobel...even if i could ask her, would i ask her...because only her death opened my eyes to how much she truly struggled with parenting a child like me...and now parenting my own strongly independent and willful curly girl...

Thursday, January 22, 2015

isobel at 3...

#theworldisnotready for isobel at 3...she has more energy, than even she knows what to do with...she is mostly happy and completely in tune to her feelings...she tells us when she is sad, angry, upset, or any other feeling possible...she loves her brothers...she melts when they pay attention to her...she loves her father...she plays hard to get but she loves his rituals and chases...when he is at work she always asks about him and misses him...she loves me, her mother/sister...she lights up and screams when i walk in the door from work...she often needs extra hugs and carried...nothing can stop isobel...she can find a way...she is amazing...so smart...so excited...so determined...we are all just along for the ride : )


Thursday, November 6, 2014

today...

today, i needed you...today, grandma came to my rescue...today we needed you...i have pretended your passing has not left a huge hole in my heart...but today i could not pretend...you were there from the beginning...joking you were the father and taking me out to lunch when i was on bed rest...we miss you...we will always love you...thank you for everything...

Saturday, August 16, 2014

the hat project...

it has been a hard road...my father-in-law, my friend, my amazing grandpa to my children, dad to my husband and his sisters, husband to my very amazing mother-in-law, suddenly passed away, quickly and quietly last thursday...when we moved, i spotted a hat box in the garage, i felt an overwhelming need to see what was inside...we made fun of him...i wanted to take pictures of all the hats...and make him a collage for his birthday...a couple weeks later, i had all the hats... he was not there to laugh at my jokes...or tell me his stories of each hat...i am overwhelmed with grief but i feel comfort with all of our memories...all of our pictures...all of his passion and love...the amazing bonus was the navy caps we found in this box...andrew had one he wore out as a child but fortunately his grandmother wore her two to the beach...despite andrew asking for them, his grandmother never gave the caps to him...fortunately they went to his father when she passed...




Tuesday, July 22, 2014

turtles, frogs & stuff

we went to inniswood today...our favorite metropark...we learned about turtles...we pretended to be turtles...


we saw so many frogs & looked for hiding frogs....


izzy fell 3 times & the third one was the worst...i aged 6 years...she is just fine...thankfully...


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